The EnneagramPersonality System:
Nine, The Merger
by Viki Markham, Ph.D
Psychotherapist and Certified Enneagram Teacher
The Enneagram Personality System comes from the Sufi spiritual tradition and has been recently adopted by Western psychology. The purpose in using the Enneagram is not to label anyone but to use it to see what we are not, so that we can free ourselves from the habit of fixating on a certain way of seeing life.
Continuing with our series on the nine Enneagram Personality Types, we will begin with the Body Triad and personality type Nine. The Nine is the central point of the three Body types, or the "Self-forgetting" and Anger triad. Eight and One are also part of this triad.
In the childhood of the Nine, the young Nine is often lost in the shuffle of the family, ignored somewhat, neglected a little. No one asks them what they think or feel, so they don't learn how to reference this in themselves. They don't learn how to ask themselves what they feel or want, so they don't know. This is how the Nine is Self Forgetting. The feeling of anger arises when they realize that they have been short changed by not saying what they want in the world.
Often as children, what they do express is ignored, so they learn not to rock the boat, to not say what they want. They learn to keep things in harmony for the family. They learn to get what they want in indirect ways, passive aggressively. The only way they have of asserting themselves is to not do something the family wants of them. Their attention becomes focused outside of themselves, on their environment, on the whole, rather than on themselves as individuals. They tend to merge with their environment because they don't know their own inner world.
As a result of this, Nine's have a diverse focus, on everything at once. It is hard for them to find a reason to pick one thing, because they are not in touch with their own internal choices. A Nine's attention becomes easily distracted. It is hard for them to make a plan and stick to it. They need structure, lists, and deadlines to guide them. They tend to forget things easily because they are not naturally focused. It is hard for them to initiate things, hard to form an opinion. It is difficult to make decisions and easy to procrastinate, since all choices look equal to them. They can make good mediators because they see all sides to an argument. They avoid conflict at all costs, it feels dangerous to them, out of harmony. They may express anger passive aggressively because of this fear of conflict.
Nines are generally easy going, friendly, and well liked since they see everyone's point of view. They may go along with a group decision only to discover later that they did not want to after all. It can take them awhile to form an opinion. When they DO find out what they want, they can be very stubborn about it, since it was hard to come by. Since they feel they often don't get what they want, they feel entitled to their stubbornness. It is hard for them to deal with change because it can take them awhile to catch up with it. It is difficult for them to know how they feel about something. They are easily swayed one way or the other. They can have the attitude, "if I ignore a problem, maybe it will go away", because this is easier than choosing a direction.
The mental Fixation for the Nine is called Indolence, this refers to their difficulty with taking action. This evolves into the Essence quality of Love, where the Nine learns to Love from really choosing another person, instead of just "going along" with someone else's choice. The emotional Fixation is called Sloth, which comes from the Nine's habit of not acting. This evolves into the Essence quality of Right Action, when the Nine learns to act from their own sense of presence and awareness, by going within to see who they really are.
What helps a Nine grow? To focus on their own feelings, needs, wants, and opinions. Ask the question daily, "What do I feel/want?". Experiment with asking for what they want from others. Learn methods to help them set priorities and stay organized. Understand that avoidance creates more problems as things pile up, and people get disappointed. Learn conflict resolution skills to help them handle disagreements more successfully. Ultimately, the mature Nine learns to be self aware and centered in themselves.
Please do not reproduce without written permission from the author.
© 2006 Viki Markham
Viki Markham began teaching compassionate communication techniques in 1982. She went on to get her Doctorate degree in Psychology, specializing in Transpersonal and mindfulness based psychology. She is a certified Enneagram teacher, teaching for 10 years. She is certifying in Hakomi Body Centered Therapy. Dr. Markham has been a psychotherapist for 25 years and has taught and consulted for many community groups and organizations, including Santa Clara University and The Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, San Jose State University and Intuit Corporation. Viki draws her wisdom from her cross-cultural life in Africa, psychotherapy training, Eastern spirituality, years of experience working with people, and her varied and diverse life experience. She makes her home in the San Francisco Bay Area of California, in the Santa Cruz mountains. Visit her website at practicalaliveness.com.