Getting Real With Relationshipsby Earth Thunder
Indigenous Shaman and Founder of The Ancient Schools of Mysteries
Relationships - Loving yourself and overflowing to those who have enough room to receive ~ Beauty is Revealed and cannot be created. Two by Two – mirroring GrandMother Earth and her families - everything is partnership.
Beginning any relationship is checking safety. Forget your eyes - study: histories of violence, insanity or illegal acts? If clear, then loving is moving rather than controlling or being stuck. When we are in love or when we are caught in this expression of “availability,” we reveal the parts we like the best about ourselves. Those mirrors weaken and we become bored. Too often, we place blame on the object of our love or on our not-quite-comfortable circumstances. I think what we forget we are primary adults.
We begin the day, a love affair, or a new painting with sweet clarity of purpose. Our Spirit values lead us, clear and strong. All too soon we become cruel. We become bullies or consumers. Fear closes our heart to the sphincter muscle - rejection, and ultimatum - control robs us of our courage. So we take halting clunky steps — looking around us to see if our resistance to surrender is being recorded. Then we gather our friends to become a war to train our lover or they are out the door. Many of us grow to believe we are not cut out for intimate love or art — that these things are for other people. Stop using love as your thermometer for relationship. Loving yourself and the overflow of that loving offered out to all who have room for your overflow, is what thriving is about.
Risking loving yourself is to know your simple boundaries, and then loosen them… Boundaries safely loosened fill and flow with a kind of loving energy. A smooth, powerful river of ‘Enough’ runs through all that matters - Conduit Connected. Universal Law has no Divorce law. Wellness is your Actions, Symptoms, and Consequences.
The Circles, Cycles, Seasons, Circles, Spirals, Rains, River — envision the most literal sense source of all…let life. Disconnected from it, my mind chatter revs up, my love becomes distorted, cruel, full of ultimatums, my creativity shuts down, my voices whine, shoulds, coulds, nevers, evers, forevers and what-ifs — my spiritual awe dims. My boundaries disappear. I get my friends to make an army with false information.
But what a daily difficult job it is to clear the conduit I think I am, clear and everything is flowing and then bam! I must begin again. The journey towards clarity is speckled with all of the inner critics — the chunks of self we reject, the fears we try to conquer, what our parents did or did not do that haunt us. Do you become a Retail Shopping Addict? Rewrite your old stories; bring them into stories that apply to current events. TRUST yourself!
Oh, it takes courage to really look closely at what blocks the flow. This is the thorniest place I know — impossible to explore deeply without getting poked and scraped. But all we have to do is to clear a small way and surrender. Engaging in this struggle does not mean we are bound up by it. We are mere witnesses to our flaws, to our base desires and ambitions, to our robotic-survival coping skills and our idealism. Watching, learning, we witness as we try to wrestle our unruly selves to the mat. And when we are flat-out exhausted, when we release our grip and surrender, we feel the warmth of the Beauty Revealed tilting inside of us and reflecting back from our lover. Aware, we turn and offer Beauty Revealed, humbly to the world. Being Fragmented is Beauty Revealed. What planet do you think you live on anyway (giggle)?
Contact EarthThunder by email or call 208.599.1004. Visit her website at earththunder.com.
EarthThunder is EarthSpirit Voice of Beloved One, Cherokee Medicine Woman, LifeWork Coach, Traditional Shaman Way serving our Wild Universe, Director of The Ancient Schools of Mysteries, Director of The Global Communities for 'Vital Earth' and Chief of The International Communities of the Ochre. EarthThunder provides Private Guidance by appointment in Boise, Idaho or via email. She also offers Experiential Intensives in remote Wilderness. The Ancient Schools of Mysteries offers accreditation in the Shaman Way of Indigenous Wisdom and offers Wilderness Retreats.